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so sleep alone tonight
shirl - do you know who she is?twenty one and becoming older unavaliable due to a broken heart person who misses her person keeper who doesn't know if she's a good one hermit who wishes not to deal with humans | |
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obliviate!
I cannot heal when I see him everyday. I just can't.I try so hard to pretend it doesn't affect me but it does. I can't do this any longer. Someone shoot me!
Time and time again, you have proven to me that I am nothing. So why the hell smile at me? Please don’t do that. You make me love you, you decide that I’m asking too much and changing you. You request a break that I don’t agree on. You ignore me for two weeks. Then you smile at me? Seriously? What is wrong with you?What is wrong with me? No more tears, I said. But I cannot heal this fast. I see sunset in your eyes.
I don’t know why I’m holding on when you obviously don’t want to.So THANK YOU for loving me. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. I suppose I wouldn't mind lying on a bed and making noise whenever something displeases me. it has not been a good weekend.
 Like the title says, it has not been a good weekend... Perhaps this time, it's been fueled by his statement (promise?) to improve. Sometimes (maybe most of the time?), I wonder if I am the problem. Highly emotional lately. Hai.
still in pieces.
Here I am… at work. With nothing to do. Well, I’m sure I have things to do but my mind’s not working. Might be because I think I have a slight fever… (which might or might not have been passed to me by someone sane.) or maybe because my mind’s too occupied with someone. Perhaps I have yet to recover from it…I don’t know what I want. Now this seems to apply to my personal life as well. Or maybe it’s him blowing ‘hot and cold’. The lack of talking and the fact that it doesn’t bother him? OR. I’m just not good enough? (Doesn't this post just reek of self esteem issues?) NEXT WEEK IS MY BIRTHDAY! Hahaha. Just a not so subtle reminder… |